Retail Therapy
Comes a knock on my door and it's Megan, the girls are going shopping, do I want to come along? Retail therapy, she calls it, like some weird new breakthrough treatment for acne. Infomercials. Send in this coupon along with nine ninety-five for shipping and handling. Thirty days or your money back. No, that's okay, I have to study some dead white males or possibly clean my toes.
Who shops for fun, anyway? I mean, who shops for clothes for fun? In the fucking excuse-my-French mall? With all those gorgeous women staring at you out of advertisements, saying If you looked like me you wouldn't have to ask that bitch saleswoman for a size whatever? None for me, thanks. I don't fancy falling into the Gap, don't care to be Limited, to rant and Rave, I'll stick to the Goodwill store and my boy jeans.
I like my boy jeans, damnit. If only because you can get 'em without lace on the pockets or cuffs a yard around or whatever the stupid trend of the week is. Used to be work clothes, you know, and now they come dolled up with lace and safety pins and I don't know what-all to grace the cute little ass of your local prom queen, and they cost forty-five bucks.
So goodbye and have fun, Miss Megan in your indigo second skin. Me, I'm still wearing Ethan's pants from back before he shot up that last time and turned into what they call a fine figure of a young man, tall dark and not exactly hideous, gentlemen swoon. They fit, so why not? I've been doing it since I was five. When your kids are wearing hand-me-downs you don't quibble over gender, and who's going to notice anyway? Sure as hell your baby girl's not, making mud pies by the side of the road.
Hi, I'm Jody and my mama dresses me funny.
And what does wearing my brother's clothes have to do with anything? Not much. I think I probably got picked on more because they came from K-mart. Little girls are such bitches. But at least I was spared the delusion that happiness has a brand name and comfort is a national chain.
See you later, kids. Hope you find what you're looking for.